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Top 25 Electropop, Dreampop, and Indiepop albums of 2012

The album – not a random offering of singles, but a piece of art that should be enjoyed in one go, from start to finish. Anyone who says the album is dead should trash their iPod and buy a record player. (Subscribe to this playlist on Spotify.)

Here we go…

#25 | Savoir Adore – “Our Nature”
This Brooklyn band dubbed themselves “fantasy rock”. You had me at “fantasy”.
Favorite Tracks: Loveliest Creature, Dreamers

#24 | Niki & The Dove – “Instinct”
Swedes are the kings and queens of indie electronica.
Favorite Tracks: Tomorrow, In Our Eyes

#23 | Baby Monster – “City of Lovers”
Electropop with some soul.
Favorite Tracks: City of Lovers, The Music’s So Loud

#22 | White Blush – “White Blush EP”
Dreamy electronic sounds from LA.
Favorite Tracks: Mirror, Jolene

#21 | The Pass – “Melt”
Synthy indie rock that reminds me of MGMT.
Favorite Tracks: Halo, Will You Wait

#20 | Tokyo Denmark Sweden – “Tokyo Denmark Sweden”
Electrpop trio from Australia.
Favorite Tracks: Comets, When it Breaks


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VIDEO: Jesus Growing Up Rich

My only Christmas bit. Wrote this a couple years ago. One of my few old jokes I’m still happy with.

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Top 50 Electropop, Dreampop, and Indie Tracks of 2012

Electropop, dreampop, indiepop, dancepop, cheesepop, synthpop, 80’s revival, new new wave, new new romantics, electric music for adults, music that sounds great with a glass of wine on a couch in a loft…this is what I’m into, and 2012 was a great year for my obsession.

Here’s my Top 50 tracks of 2012… (Subscribe to the Spotify playlist)


#50 – San Francisco’s chillwave hero.

#49 – Disturbing vocals about wanting to be a cripple. Fortunately much of it is in French.

#48 – Californians loves hearing other Californians sing about California.

#47 – Swirly synthpop.

#46 – Synths, drum machines…and heavy electric guitars. Rock.

#45 – None of the band members are from Tokyo, Denmark, nor Sweden.

#44 – Great follow-up to their 2010 hit “A Real Hero” you probably heard from the movie “Drive”.

#43 – Drifting in and out, describes the sound perfectly.

#42 – Bleeps and bass. It’s SWEET.

#41 – More bands from “Drive”. More bone-shaking analogue synths.

#40 – Two Swedish chicks yelling in unison to dancepop. I love it.

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13 Planes, Trains and Automobiles photo memes for Thanksgiving

My only Thanksgiving tradition is to watch Planes, Trains and Auotmobiles. Here’s thirteen photos to get you through another Detroit Lions loss…

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Vampire Tim Lincecum

Be on the lookout for VAMPIRE TIM LINCECUM!! He was bitten and turned from a human starting pitcher, into a relief pitcher. He drinks tiger blood.

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Sorry, I don’t negotiate with terrorists.

And he’s shedding a tear.

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I interpret Wu-Tang Clan’s “The Projects”

The Projects” off the Wu-Tang Clan’s 1997 “Wu-Tang Forever” album has always been one of my favorite hip-hop tracks. In particular, the third and final verse written and performed by my all-time favorite rapper Ghostface Killah AKA Ironman AKA Ghostdeini AKA Tony Starks AKA Dennis Coles.

Apparently, someone forget to tell Ghost he was supposed to rap about “The Projects”. The song is more about vaginas, expletives, and hilarity, which is probably why I love it.

I’ve memorized the track but never really understood the lyrics. So I’ve broken down the verse, line by line, and attempted to interpret Ghostface’s deep symbolism…


Suck my dick it’s the kid with the fat knob

Perform oral sex on me, because I’m the young man with the large penis you’ve probably heard about.


I bust all into ya face, plus it come in globs

When I ejaculate, I will purposefully target your face. My semen will be thick and lumpy.


Quick get on your knees, with yo’ sweet pussy let it breathe

For me to properly ejaculate on your face, you’ll need to lower your body. Try kneeling. Make haste as my orgasm is moments away. Also, spread your legs, let your vagina get some air.


Two fingers is all in your hole, think I can fit three

Being the gentleman I am, I will ensure we BOTH reach a sexual climax. I’m stimulating your G-spot with my two fingers. I wonder, can I fit three fingers into your vagina? Yes.


Your pink lips, spread it in shit, let me throw my dick in

Spread your vagina (if it isn’t already) and allow me to heave my penis inside you. It’s apparently already erect again. Awesome.


Grab my shit and place it gently, on your clit

Take hold of my erect penis and place it, ever so delicately, onto your clitoris. But trust me, be gentle, my penis is larger than average penises and my hurt you. This has happened with other women in the past.


Ping-pong pussy, wide world of wombs titty saggin

Back and forth, my penis goes from stimulating your clitoris to your G-spot, similar to a friendly game of ping-pong. Also, and please don’t take any offense, your stomach could be holding a child and your breasts have begun to lose their density.

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Buy my fucking book! (please)


Phil’s debut humor book, “How to Marry a Finnish Girl” is out now on Gummerus Publishers.

About Better! Funner!


Better! Funner! is a blog written and curated by Phil Schwarzmann. You’ll find funny original pieces, some not-so-funny pieces, plus stuff that made Phil laugh from around them internets. Enjoy!