Click me:

Forgot your password… No problem!


 

Forgot your password? No problem! Just enter your e-mail address and we’ll get you right back on track.

 

 
amber-marie.johnson@gmail.com
 

Great! Type in your new password to continue.

 

 
amber
 

Sorry, your password must contain at least 8 characters.

 

 
ambermariejohnson
 

Sorry, your password may not contain more than 16 characters.

 

 
ambermarie
 

Sorry, your password must contain at least one digit.

 

 
ambermarie666
 

Sorry, your password may not contain the digits “666”, “12345”, “69”, or “π”.

 

 
ambermarie1
 

Sorry, your password must contain at least one capital letter.

 

 
AMBERMARIE1
 

Sorry, your CAPS LOCK may be on.

 

 
Ambermarie1
 

Sorry, your password must contain one symbol.

 

 
Ambermarie1$$$
 

Sorry, your password must contain ONE symbol.

 

 
Ambermarie1€
 

Sorry, that symbol no longer exists in 2013.

 

 
Ambermarie1$
 

Sorry, your password can’t be your daughter’s name, nor your boyfriend’s name.

 

 
Fuckyou1!
 

Sorry, your password can’t contain any curse words.

 

 
Föökyou1!
 

Sorry, your password can’t be in Swedish.

 

 
Ihateyou1!
 

Sorry, your password is too weak.

 

 
Yousuck1!
 

Sorry, your password is too lame.

 

 
xY3Qr89%vc32F
 

Sorry, you’ll never remember that password.

 

 
xY3Qr89%vc32F
 

Sorry, even if you write the password on a yellow post-it note and stick it to your monitor.

 

 
Dirtyskank1!
 

Sorry, your password can’t be what your friends call you behind your back.

 

 
Eatadick1!
 

Sorry, that password is already used by user jennifer.schmidt@gmail.com

 

 
FUmonkey1!
 

Sorry, no ethnic slurs.

 

 
asdfasdfsfadg12!
 

Please don’t punch the keyboard.

 

 
ImSorry1!
 

I’m sorry too.

After 21 attempts we’re suspending your account. Please try again later. In order to activate your new iPhone 4S, you must create an Apple ID.

 

Author Description

Phil Schwarzmann

I'm a writer, stand-up comic, and author of “How to Marry a Finnish Girl” (Gummerus Publishers, 2011). Better! Funner! is where I write. Poorly. More of my jibber-jabber at: www.philschwarzmann.com

  • Fat Welshman

    10 points. The funniest thing I have seen from you in ages!

    So… Still not *that* funny, but good by your standards 😉

  • http://www.philschwarzmann.com Phil Schwarzmann

    Hehe, glad to hear I’m improving. :-)

Buy my fucking book! (please)


 

Phil’s debut humor book, “How to Marry a Finnish Girl” is out now on Gummerus Publishers.

  • It often seems like Democrats believe in Christian values, but not in Jesus. While Republicans believe in Jesus, bu… https://t.co/s312rCUH0i
  • “Terrapin Crossroads is the place to be if you can’t get into Wolfgang Pucks.” —Bill Walton, high AF
  • Not sure which makes grumpier - If I haven’t had any coffee by 9am? Or if I haven’t had any alcohol by 9pm?
  • Looking at photos of me at 18 - I was handsome and in great shape, but thought I was ugly and fat. Now at age 39… https://t.co/Upm5oB2a4n
  • I told my girlfriend, “I love you” and she said, “I love you more”. I replied, “No, honey, *I* love me more”.
  • My contribution to the conference call was to unmute myself so I could laugh, then right back on mute again.

About Better! Funner!


 

Better! Funner! is a blog written and curated by Phil Schwarzmann. You’ll find funny original pieces, some not-so-funny pieces, plus stuff that made Phil laugh from around them internets. Enjoy!

Better!

Funner!

Better!

Funner!