Click me:

What people say about my book, and how I interpret it.

I’m truly humbled that someone spent hours of their day reading my writing. And I love nothing more than to hear people’s thought’s on my book, both on and offline. But sometimes those comments are backhanded. Or I’m a cynical asshole. Probably the latter.

Below are comments I’ve received, and what I really think the person is saying…

What people say. How I interpret it.
I read your book in a day! Did you crank that thing out in a week? I paid $20 for this! I wanted to labor over your book for weeks, if not months!! Editing is for pussies.
It was an easy read. You have the vocabulary of a 3rd grader. Take those residuals and buy yourself a thesaurus.
It wasn’t that funny. You think you’re funny? Well I’m much funnier! I could have written a funnier book on this exact topic. If I wanted to. But I’m too busy writing critical reviews of people’s creative endeavors.
You published a book? Like a real book? Any hack can self-publish nowadays. Anyone can get on Amazon. Did you get a REAL publisher? I thought landing a publishing deal was difficult. I guess not.
You really put yourself out there! Phil, you’re embarrassing yourself. And our family.
I bought your book, and it better be funny!!!! :-) I’m a douchebag!!
You should write the book “How to divorce a Finnish girl”!! Hey, here’s something that’s clever, funny, and totally original!!
I could never write a book. Phil, you have way too much time on your hands. Seriously, get a life.
It should have had more of “this”, and less of “that”!! Why didn’t you write your book EXACTLY the way I wanted you too?!? Don’t you care about what I want!?!
There were typos! If you don’t know the difference between “desert” and “dessert”, how the hell are you able to write an entire book? This is clearly your editor’s fault, but I’ll blame it on the author.
Frankly, I didn’t like it. I am in pain and full of hate! I put my cries for help in the comments section of Amazon.com!!
 

Author Description

Phil Schwarzmann

I'm a writer, stand-up comic, and author of “How to Marry a Finnish Girl” (Gummerus Publishers, 2011). Better! Funner! is where I write. Poorly. More of my jibber-jabber at: www.philschwarzmann.com

  • Rose

    Hi Phil,
    Your book was great! I haven’t laughed like this for such a long time.
    Finland must pay you to have you here!

  • Henri K.

    Yo! 😀 Sorry. Very IDon’tknowwhat’stheregoingon.

  • Greg@travelfindblog

    I saw your book launch on Finland for thought
    I found it an interesting reag though more details were needded and a better grammer in sentance structure
    Regardless some good points and issues raised

  • hengameh

    I am from middle east. i had a journey to Finland just last year and i found them very lovely and very nice people and i,d like to read your book about Finns but i couldn’t,t find it here yet, maybe in future.
    and would you please give me the frequency of any Finnish satellite television or channels which are available in middle east?

Buy my fucking book! (please)


 

Phil’s debut humor book, “How to Marry a Finnish Girl” is out now on Gummerus Publishers.

  • Back at the office after a couple weeks off. Or as I like to call it, "Let's see what's growing in my half-empty c… https://t.co/bA49xn3F5i
  • You know you're fully relaxed on vacation when you and your partner argue about which day of the week it is, and you're both wrong.
  • Looked at my Outlook for the first time in a while. It just said, "Bleak."
  • He spelled ‘marginal’ wrong. https://t.co/p7wlj3rmjR
  • NBC is promoting its New Year’s Eve special. They tout it, “The night you’ll never forget!” I feel like if there’s… https://t.co/hw6i0ds5hy
  • My car registration form came with a flyer that reads in big bold letters: "GET A DUI - LOSE YOUR LICENSE!" Should… https://t.co/SfBSPuPznJ
  • I’ve developed a new phobia which I’ve dubbed “Crystalphobia”: The fear that the new Oscars host will be Billy Crys… https://t.co/5hfdzTzssK

About Better! Funner!


 

Better! Funner! is a blog written and curated by Phil Schwarzmann. You’ll find funny original pieces, some not-so-funny pieces, plus stuff that made Phil laugh from around them internets. Enjoy!

Better!

Funner!

Better!

Funner!