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  • I drink coffee at the office until it's quittin' time. My colleagues often say, "You're going to be up until 3am!… https://t.co/4dMveoY0P6
  • This poor driver doesn’t know my company just started it’s “30-day weight loss challenge”. Play that jingle all yo… https://t.co/87CFvJH09s
  • Republicans: “If you ban assault weapons, terrorists will simply use other guns which are just a deadly! Democrats… https://t.co/R5NWGMhFcw
  • Pulled an unfamiliar receipt out of an old jacked. Assumed I got blackout drunk at a bar in Sweden. Turns out I jus… https://t.co/aIsyezQCJM
  • "This project is VERY important to the company. We're all counting on you!" "Great! How big is the budget?" "We h… https://t.co/p9XJ8Gw5dU

Buy my fucking book! (please)


 

Phil’s debut humor book, “How to Marry a Finnish Girl” is out now on Gummerus Publishers.

About Better! Funner!


 

Better! Funner! is a blog written and curated by Phil Schwarzmann. You’ll find funny original pieces, some not-so-funny pieces, plus stuff that made Phil laugh from around them internets. Enjoy!

Better!

Funner!

Better!

Funner!