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  • If everyone reported their friends and neighbors to the authorities who were obsessed with “race, violence and guns… https://t.co/dAgzVRfsvH
  • Mike Pence refuses to be in a room with another man, if figure skating is on.
  • “Let’s ban assault rifles, and when people complain, we’ll send them thoughts and prayers. If thoughts and prayers… https://t.co/wHCfhFcfrN
  • People joke that Fox News is state-run media, but Fox News isn’t STATE-run…Fox News RUNS the state. Trump watches… https://t.co/l6pbRreBRd
  • Luke Wilson involved in a fatal crash, and his nose STILL isn’t as fucked up as his brother’s.

Buy my fucking book! (please)


 

Phil’s debut humor book, “How to Marry a Finnish Girl” is out now on Gummerus Publishers.

About Better! Funner!


 

Better! Funner! is a blog written and curated by Phil Schwarzmann. You’ll find funny original pieces, some not-so-funny pieces, plus stuff that made Phil laugh from around them internets. Enjoy!

Better!

Funner!

Better!

Funner!