Republicans be like:
“We should lock up crackheads!” and then “I can’t stop eating M&M’s, they’re like crack!” @philschwarzmann
You know you drink too much if you want alcohol, but are bored of beer, wine, and liquor. @philschwarzmann
Solving the gun crisis by adding more guns is like curing a hangover with more booze, it’s…wait, nevermind, this analogy isn’t helping. @philschwarzmann
If airlines charge heavyset people for an extra seat, I should be able to murder people whose chargers take up two sockets. @philschwarzmann
Better! Funner! is a blog written and curated by Phil Schwarzmann. You’ll find funny original pieces, some not-so-funny pieces, plus stuff that made Phil laugh from around them internets. Enjoy!
Area Man Has Enthusiastic Conversation With Starbucks
Here’s What’s Really Going On With FINNBAY
How to Roll into Work 2 Hours Late and Not Get Caught