The Onion Archives - Better! Funner!

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Casual Fridays during Covid is just whatever I wore on Thursday. @philschwarzmann
I don't have a favorite number. But I do have a least favorite number, and that number is whatever age I am at the moment. @philschwarzmann
I wanna get that Johnson & Johnson shot just so I can talk shit to people waiting for their second Moderna shot. @philschwarzmann
sun way too bright yesterday, hurt my eyes https://t.co/wSvhq6X4uD @philschwarzmann

Buy my fucking book! (please)

Phil’s debut humor book, “How to Marry a Finnish Girl” is out now on Gummerus Publishers.

About Better! Funner!

Better! Funner! is a blog written and curated by Phil Schwarzmann. You’ll find funny original pieces, some not-so-funny pieces, plus stuff that made Phil laugh from around them internets. Enjoy!

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Area Man Has Enthusiastic Conversation With Starbucks
April 21st, 2014
Here’s What’s Really Going On With FINNBAY
April 6th, 2014
Man Debates Whether or Not to Go to Gym From Bed
April 5th, 2014
How to Roll into Work 2 Hours Late and Not Get Caught
February 24th, 2014
Denver Fans Be Like…
February 2nd, 2014
Area Dogs Share Mixed Feelings on Super Bowl
January 25th, 2014
Student Fools No One with Apple Sticker
January 13th, 2014

Syksy on How my book’s cover was designed
March 21st, 2018
L. Rokku on How my book’s cover was designed
March 9th, 2018
Anonymous on How my book’s cover was designed
September 28th, 2017
Joshua Peter Markham on How my book’s cover was designed
August 23rd, 2017
Joshua Peter Markham on How my book’s cover was designed
August 23rd, 2017
ShadowsofLight on How my book’s cover was designed
January 18th, 2017
Lu_B_H on Top 10 Things Only Americans Find Funny
July 7th, 2016