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Area Man Has Enthusiastic Conversation With Starbucks



REDWOOD CITY, CA – With a new sense of purpose and increased zest for life, area man Phil Schwarzmann has been engaged in an enthusiastic conversation with, what he assumes is, Seattle-based Starbucks. Taking place over Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and as of yesterday, Pinterest, sources say Phil has been in regular contact with the brand for several days.

Phil’s online relationship began with the coffee company after he tweeted to his 27 followers about a pleasurable experience he was having with a Starbucks grande skim milk latte.

“I grabbed a latte from my local Starbucks and enjoyed it so much I though I’d tweet about it,” explains the 34-year old marketing director. “I’ve been wanting to tweet something, anything, for several days and this was just perfect.”

Within minutes Starbucks replied to Phil’s tweet with, “Sounds delicious! Have you tired our new Cinnamon Dolce Crème Frappuccino® Blended Beverage? :)”

Having not tried the beverage Schwarzmann couldn’t pass up a personalized recommendation from the smiley-faced corporation and quickly ordered the flavored drink.

At press time Phil and Starbucks have collectively shared 65 tweets, 15 Facebook comments, 11 Instagram photos, a recommendation for a wasabi-infused iced coffee as well as feedback on several of their Bay Area chains’ bathrooms.


Author Description

Phil Schwarzmann

I'm a writer, stand-up comic, and author of “How to Marry a Finnish Girl” (Gummerus Publishers, 2011). Better! Funner! is where I write. Poorly. More of my jibber-jabber at:

Buy my fucking book! (please)


Phil’s debut humor book, “How to Marry a Finnish Girl” is out now on Gummerus Publishers.

  • Age 39: The age when you have at least one part of your body hurting at all times.
  • Realized I spent all of yesterday wearing an ‘L’ sticker on my brand new shirt. Great. Does it mean ‘Large’? No, I wish.
  • Autocorrect so annoying! I kept trying to type “Can’t wait to wear my new jersey!!” but it kept correcting to “Can…
  • Me: “I’m gonna have a healthy salad for lunch.” Coworker: “There’s pizza in the break room!” Me: “I’m gonna eat ALL the pizza.”
  • With Papa John gone, we finally removed racism from pizza producers! Unless you’re a Republican making DiGiorino at home.
  • I want to be successful as possible. But stop at the level where if you do something stupid, you become a headline.
  • I’m cutting back on my drinking. I’m only putting one cocktail straw in my drink instead of two - each sip is half as much. #Lifehacker

About Better! Funner!


Better! Funner! is a blog written and curated by Phil Schwarzmann. You’ll find funny original pieces, some not-so-funny pieces, plus stuff that made Phil laugh from around them internets. Enjoy!