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Author Description

Phil Schwarzmann

I'm a writer, stand-up comic, and author of “How to Marry a Finnish Girl” (Gummerus Publishers, 2011). Better! Funner! is where I write. Poorly. More of my jibber-jabber at:

Buy my fucking book! (please)


Phil’s debut humor book, “How to Marry a Finnish Girl” is out now on Gummerus Publishers.

  • Joe’s gotta go. He can’t debate. Kamala needs to replace him as the leading liberal candidate. #DemDebate
  • Julio Castro not even trying to win the nomination. He’s just here to make sure Joe Biden doesn’t win either. #DemDebate
  • Why cant Klobuchar be TULSI?!! #DemDebate
  • FOH Julián Castro. Throwing shade like that. Maybe Booker will lay down some short jokes. #DemDebate
  • Nobody likes their healthcare insurance company. But most people will prefer their employer’s super-inexpensive he…
  • Hey Elizabeth Warren, I lived in Scandinavia for 10 years. I don’t know anyone who liked the state-run healthcare system either. #DemDebate
  • If you missed Bernie Sanders’ debate answers tonight, don’t worry, just watch his debate from 4 years ago. Same sh…

About Better! Funner!


Better! Funner! is a blog written and curated by Phil Schwarzmann. You’ll find funny original pieces, some not-so-funny pieces, plus stuff that made Phil laugh from around them internets. Enjoy!