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Author Description

Phil Schwarzmann

I'm a writer, stand-up comic, and author of “How to Marry a Finnish Girl” (Gummerus Publishers, 2011). Better! Funner! is where I write. Poorly. More of my jibber-jabber at:

Buy my fucking book! (please)


Phil’s debut humor book, “How to Marry a Finnish Girl” is out now on Gummerus Publishers.

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  • Dear Republican friends: You voted to get us out of the Middle East. You voted to bring troops home. You voted t…
  • Top 5 toys of the Christmas season, per Mainway Toys: 5. Bag O’ Glass 4. Bag O’ Bugs 3. Bag O’ Vipers 2. Bag O’ Su…
  • I had a shot of Hennessy this morning because I needed a hair of the d-o-double-g.
  • Republicans upset that Anderson Cooper and Don Lemon let loose on New Year’s Eve is like a child losing his mind wh…

About Better! Funner!


Better! Funner! is a blog written and curated by Phil Schwarzmann. You’ll find funny original pieces, some not-so-funny pieces, plus stuff that made Phil laugh from around them internets. Enjoy!