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Author Description

Phil Schwarzmann

I'm a writer, stand-up comic, and author of “How to Marry a Finnish Girl” (Gummerus Publishers, 2011). Better! Funner! is where I write. Poorly. More of my jibber-jabber at:

Buy my fucking book! (please)


Phil’s debut humor book, “How to Marry a Finnish Girl” is out now on Gummerus Publishers.

  • The awful Notre Dame fire is an excuse for white people to humblebrag, once more, that they’ve visited Paris.
  • You ever been so tired that you looked at the bottom of a work email thread for the "unsubscribe" button?
  • I’m opening up a chain of dentist offices called, “You Don’t Floss, We Don’t Care”. They ask you once if you floss…

About Better! Funner!


Better! Funner! is a blog written and curated by Phil Schwarzmann. You’ll find funny original pieces, some not-so-funny pieces, plus stuff that made Phil laugh from around them internets. Enjoy!