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Author Description

Phil Schwarzmann

I'm a writer, stand-up comic, and author of “How to Marry a Finnish Girl” (Gummerus Publishers, 2011). Better! Funner! is where I write. Poorly. More of my jibber-jabber at:

Buy my fucking book! (please)


Phil’s debut humor book, “How to Marry a Finnish Girl” is out now on Gummerus Publishers.

  • Are you telling me that interview process is REALLY HARD for a lifetime job that Trump called "most coveted in the…
  • Advice to women testifying at hearings: Be strong. Be stoic. Don't raise your voice, but don't be too soft. And…
  • 100 bottles of beer on the wall, 100 bottles of beer. Take one down, pass it around, Brett drank all the bottles of beer on the wall.
  • Everybody assume that's Kavanaugh's wife behind him, but it's actually Maggie Gyllenhaal.
  • Ever seen a guy try so hard to convince people that he *IS* a virgin?
  • And with that, Brett Kavanaugh officially kicks off Oscar season!
  • I was worried Kavanaugh's kids would have to watch this and hear the words "running a train". Now I'm more worried…

About Better! Funner!


Better! Funner! is a blog written and curated by Phil Schwarzmann. You’ll find funny original pieces, some not-so-funny pieces, plus stuff that made Phil laugh from around them internets. Enjoy!