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Author Description

Phil Schwarzmann

I'm a writer, stand-up comic, and author of “How to Marry a Finnish Girl” (Gummerus Publishers, 2011). Better! Funner! is where I write. Poorly. More of my jibber-jabber at:

Buy my fucking book! (please)


Phil’s debut humor book, “How to Marry a Finnish Girl” is out now on Gummerus Publishers.

  • Bernie had a heart attack days ago?? Get him a Bears jersey, a pork chop, and put him on Bill Swerski’s Superfans…
  • Watching Joe Biden debate is like watching Toonces the Driving Cat. It starts out so well, but ends with Biden dri…
  • Fuck you NFL Sunday Ticket. $73/month for a service that NEVER works. But your billing system seems to work just f…

About Better! Funner!


Better! Funner! is a blog written and curated by Phil Schwarzmann. You’ll find funny original pieces, some not-so-funny pieces, plus stuff that made Phil laugh from around them internets. Enjoy!