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Author Description

Phil Schwarzmann

I'm a writer, stand-up comic, and author of “How to Marry a Finnish Girl” (Gummerus Publishers, 2011). Better! Funner! is where I write. Poorly. More of my jibber-jabber at:

Buy my fucking book! (please)


Phil’s debut humor book, “How to Marry a Finnish Girl” is out now on Gummerus Publishers.

  • Under the Trump administration, we’ve seen the least number of arrests on the southern border IN DECADES. Congrat…
  • Trump got his wall. Her name is Nancy Pelosi. #sotu
  • As Democrats demand that the Virginia governor resign, Ralph Northam announces he’ll just switch parties instead.
  • Two days in a row when fakeass patriots have disrespected chiefs. #SuperBowl
  • Back at the office after a couple weeks off. Or as I like to call it, "Let's see what's growing in my half-empty c…
  • You know you're fully relaxed on vacation when you and your partner argue about which day of the week it is, and you're both wrong.
  • Looked at my Outlook for the first time in a while. It just said, "Bleak."

About Better! Funner!


Better! Funner! is a blog written and curated by Phil Schwarzmann. You’ll find funny original pieces, some not-so-funny pieces, plus stuff that made Phil laugh from around them internets. Enjoy!