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VIDEO: Jesus Growing Up Rich

My only Christmas bit. Wrote this a couple years ago. One of my few old jokes I’m still happy with.


Author Description

Phil Schwarzmann

I'm a writer, stand-up comic, and author of “How to Marry a Finnish Girl” (Gummerus Publishers, 2011). Better! Funner! is where I write. Poorly. More of my jibber-jabber at:

Buy my fucking book! (please)


Phil’s debut humor book, “How to Marry a Finnish Girl” is out now on Gummerus Publishers.

  • Amy Klobochar is just like Hillary Clinton, minus the charisma. #DemDebates
  • Pete Buttigieg just ripped off Amy Klobochar’s helmet and bashed it on Tulsi Gabbard’s head. 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 #DemDebates
  • How can we get Corey Booker and Tulsi Gabbard to get naked and make out while the others talk?? 🔥🔥 #DemDebate
  • I’m pretty sure Tom Steyer wore that same exact tie last debate. #DemDebate
  • Fox News showing the debate live, but with a camera on Tulsi Gabbard in the upper-right corner the entire time. #DemDebate
  • Drake doesn't sound so badass when you realize his song "0 to 100" is about kilometers-per-hour and not miles.
  • I received an email from a colleague in which I have some questions and concerns about. But they didn't write, "If…

About Better! Funner!


Better! Funner! is a blog written and curated by Phil Schwarzmann. You’ll find funny original pieces, some not-so-funny pieces, plus stuff that made Phil laugh from around them internets. Enjoy!