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VIDEO: Jesus Growing Up Rich

My only Christmas bit. Wrote this a couple years ago. One of my few old jokes I’m still happy with.


Author Description

Phil Schwarzmann

I'm a writer, stand-up comic, and author of “How to Marry a Finnish Girl” (Gummerus Publishers, 2011). Better! Funner! is where I write. Poorly. More of my jibber-jabber at:

Buy my fucking book! (please)


Phil’s debut humor book, “How to Marry a Finnish Girl” is out now on Gummerus Publishers.

  • FINE. I’ll watch Hamilton. But if any character suddenly breaks out in song or dance, for no apparent reason, I’m SHUTTIN’ IT DOWN.
  • I’m on my couch reading a book. A fucking BOOK. God I miss sports.
  • And I chose you over Amazon (and would have had the item weeks ago) to support my local Guitar Center shop, only fo…

About Better! Funner!


Better! Funner! is a blog written and curated by Phil Schwarzmann. You’ll find funny original pieces, some not-so-funny pieces, plus stuff that made Phil laugh from around them internets. Enjoy!