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Who is Fake Stephen Elop?

It’s not me. Though I’ve been accused of it several times.

I take it as the ultimate compliment my colleagues, and security team.  But I’m just not that funny.  And I wouldn’t want to risk losing my job!   Ooops.

Nokia’s controversial CEO Stephen Elop has not one, but TWO, parody Twitter accounts (@ceoStephenElop and @fakeselop). And both are terribly funny. They have thousands of followers and thousands of others too afraid to publicly follow them.

While they’re two separate writers, they have much in common. The ghost writers have yet to reveal themselves, so let’s summon the spirit of Angela Landsbury and smoke these pranksters out.


He knows Verizon, he must be American.  Even Americans don’t know Verizon…


With geek speak like that, he’s a he…


An intranet joke…



He’s a disgruntled employee…


He probably has an iPhone as his second phone.  For “testing purposes only” of course…


He watches Saturday Night Live clips on Sunday.  Or attempts to…


A “Billy Madison” reference!?  No Englishman would be caught dead watching an Adam Sandler movie…


He’s not Jewish…


He’s up on all the latest Nokia news…


He knows “Series 60”, so he’s old school Nokia…


More Ohio jokes…


He’s lived in Finland and knows Finnish geography…


Maybe he’s from the Marketing department…


He’s spent time, way too much time, in the Espoo headquarters grill line.  Those queues have made me late for many a meeting…


To sum it up, the two writers are: Nokia employees. Long time employees. Men. Still at Nokia, or just laid off. Once proud Nokians, but not so much today. Not too happy with Elop. American. Tech geeks. Living in Finland. Working in Nokia’s Espoo headquarters. Not Jewish.

Well, after intense investigation, I’ve narrowed it down to, and the culprit is…me!

But alas, it’s not, I’m not that funny. But I’m sure I know whomever the writers are. Maybe they’ll reveal themselves once they get their severance check.


Author Description

Phil Schwarzmann

I'm a writer, stand-up comic, and author of “How to Marry a Finnish Girl” (Gummerus Publishers, 2011). Better! Funner! is where I write. Poorly. More of my jibber-jabber at:

  • jalyst


    There’s also this guy, although he’s just become irritating lately, not that funny:

    • Phil Schwarzmann

      Haven’t checked out that one yet. He’s also probably “not Jewish”.

    • ExNokian

      @philschwarzmann:disqus, @jalyst:disqus you misse FOURTH Fake Stephen Elop: (I wonder how many are there?

  • ta mere

    There’s no “intranet joke” in that third tweet?! If you think for some reason it’s because he says “People Hub”, I expect he’s talking about the “People” feature on Windows Phone…

    • Phil Schwarzmann

      Ahhhh….maybe you’re right. Thought that was the intranet “People Hub”.

  • JFH_Engadget

    “A “Billy Madison” reference!? No Englishman would be caught dead watching an Adam Sandler movie…” –> This had nothing to do with poor American comedies but with a Anssi Vanjoki quote about Android :)

    • Phil Schwarzmann

      Could be. I was thinking about this quote from Billy Madison: “You’re not cool unless you pee your pants.” … “If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.”

  • AintMeEither

    “He’s a disgruntled employee”

    Uh oh… The net is closing on just a few thousand peeps to investigate!!!

    @Phil – Really used to love listening to your Popcasts, made Friday much more enjoyable after all the hard work of topping up the oil tanks. BTW, Anglea is only going to get involved when someone topples over in a hotel just outside Winsor, or when they discover the person at the front of the grill queue has been dead just over 2 years.

    • Phil Schwarzmann

      lol, wha?

  • Gary

    I would put my money on Tomi T. Ahonen.

  • Hardeep Singh

    I wonder what the headline will be when Nokia finally goes Android. “Nokia pees in its pants, finally.” Or “Start buying Nokia stocks as the Finnish giant has finally peed in its pants”

  • Hradayesh

    I think fakeselop is T******

Buy my fucking book! (please)


Phil’s debut humor book, “How to Marry a Finnish Girl” is out now on Gummerus Publishers.

About Better! Funner!


Better! Funner! is a blog written and curated by Phil Schwarzmann. You’ll find funny original pieces, some not-so-funny pieces, plus stuff that made Phil laugh from around them internets. Enjoy!