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My Top 10 Apple iOS6 Maps jokes

Consumers and the media love to hate Apple, especially when they screw up, like they did with the release of Maps for iOS6. Few have tried it, but that doesn’t stop us from trashing it. So I took to Twitter (@philschwarzmann) this morning to write some iOS6 Maps jokes. Here’s my Top 10…



London looks like complete crap in iOS6 Maps!! They finally got that right.



Found the problem: iOS6 Maps’ “Earthquake Simulation Mode” default setting is ‘ON’.


#8 proclaims: “Beautifully designed from the ground up, iOS6 Maps changes the way you see all 37 states.”



Apple removed street view from iOS6 Maps because they were too scared to drive through East Baltimore.



I searched for “New Orleans” on iOS6 Maps and got another blue screen of death.



I failed my high school geography exam because I cheated and used iOS6 Maps.



All the buildings and streets of Japan are gone on iOS6 Maps!! Or maybe they’re using maps from August 6, 1945.



I only wish the 9/11 terrorists were using iOS6 Maps.



I was using iOS6 Maps and Siri told me to stop and ask for directions.



Apple called me. Said not to bother applying for anymore jobs at their company.


Author Description

Phil Schwarzmann

I'm a writer, stand-up comic, and author of “How to Marry a Finnish Girl” (Gummerus Publishers, 2011). Better! Funner! is where I write. Poorly. More of my jibber-jabber at:

Buy my fucking book! (please)


Phil’s debut humor book, “How to Marry a Finnish Girl” is out now on Gummerus Publishers.

  • Dear Google Maps: If I type in a street address without a city, just assume ITS THE EXACT CITY IM CURRENTLY IN. Not fucking "Illinois".
  • When a new show comes to ABC or CBS: "Boo!! Never heard of it." That exact same show comes to Netflix or Amazon: "Yayyy!! I binged it all!"
  • # of times Trump trashed SNL this weekend: 1 # of times Trump praised MLK this weekend: 0
  • Why do only the shittiest of cars still use The Club on their steering wheel? Ain’t nobody stealing your clunker.
  • After you’re buried, you decompose leaving nothing but 10lbs of bones. So even after I die, I’ll never be able to lose those last 10 lbs.
  • If Trump did indeed hire Russian prostitutes to pee on each other, it’s the least worst thing he’s ever done.
  • Parents, was it difficult explaining to your children what a “golden shower” is? Give your kids a leg up and teach them all the BDSM lingo.

About Better! Funner!


Better! Funner! is a blog written and curated by Phil Schwarzmann. You’ll find funny original pieces, some not-so-funny pieces, plus stuff that made Phil laugh from around them internets. Enjoy!