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Re: TEAM DAY!!!!!!!


Hi team!! It’s Brenda here!! (your favorite HR rep!!! HA!!)

Our Annual Team Day is approaching! (finally!) We’ve had a few false starts, but looks like Mark won’t be on business in Ibiza, a ski holiday, or personal leave this time.

As you’re well aware TechCorp has been through some rough times of late, so we’ve been forced to make some budgetary changes, but I have no doubt this will be the BEST TEAM DAY EVER!! A few of the changes…

– First change you’ll notice is the name. “Annual Team Day” has been renamed, for purposes of accuracy, from “Quarterly Team Day” (you’ll remember the previous year it was named “Quarterly Team Week”). Even though it’s just one day, I promise we’ll pack in FOUR times as much fun!!

– Yup, June 10th is a Saturday. Mark’s weekdays are simply too busy for him to attend, so we’re moving this to Saturday. We thought about Sunday but know it’s a religious day for many of you (Sorry Moshe, you were out voted 20-1). Would you rather be partying with your awesome colleagues or doing boring house chores with your wife?!

– For all you internet kids who love the LOL, ROTFL, and SMS – I guess you know what BYOB means? Bring your own beer! Pretend like you’re in college again! Not only does it save the company money, I won’t have to hear any complains like, “I prefer an India Pale Ale with more bitter, and less fruity hops” or “Hey, did you know that drinking a Guinness is equivalent to one meal?”

– We all enjoyed it when Top Chef’s season 5 semi-finalist Mario Fellugi led us in cooking a meal. Well this year, instead of cooking your own meal, how about HUNTING your own meal? That’s right, we’ll provide the crossbows and bear traps, and YOU provide the food! It’ll be like you’re on TV’s Survivor!

– Instead of skiing at Whistler like last year, we’re taking you to Mt. Everest!! The Mt. Everest conference room on the 2nd floor that is. The carpeting is in dire need of replacing, so no worries if you spill a little Corona or rabbit blood. (Even though there’s no skiing, a winking Mark wanted me to remind you that he’ll “provide the snow”. I’m not sure what he means by that.)

– To build much-needed morale, we’ll enjoy some team building exercises!! Like exercise. And building a new bookshelf. We’ll split into two teams. We do need a new bookshelf! And many of you need exercise.

– The “trust fall” activity is canceled this year after last year’s lawsuit. Janet really did appreciate the card you all signed. We will however keep the “water balloon relay race”. Mark and the guys really enjoyed that.

– “Create your own cocktail” will be replaced with “Musical Chairs”. Winner will receive a mystery prize! Those in a wheelchair can play but not win. It really wouldn’t be fair to others. (Sorry Moshe)

– Campfire time! We’ll go around the campfire, errr, conference room, and everyone will share one personal detail about themselves. Mark has PROMISED not to use these against us at a later date.

One last thing:  Remember that fun is mandatory!!  :-)

Warm regards,
Brenda, Human Resources

 

Author Description

Phil Schwarzmann

I'm a writer, stand-up comic, and author of “How to Marry a Finnish Girl” (Gummerus Publishers, 2011). Better! Funner! is where I write. Poorly. More of my jibber-jabber at: www.philschwarzmann.com

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Phil’s debut humor book, “How to Marry a Finnish Girl” is out now on Gummerus Publishers.

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Better! Funner! is a blog written and curated by Phil Schwarzmann. You’ll find funny original pieces, some not-so-funny pieces, plus stuff that made Phil laugh from around them internets. Enjoy!

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